Have you ever heard the phrase, “Love is blind”? Is love blind? What does the expression mean to you?
Love is one of the most powerful emotions on the planet – it can give us incredible highs and devastating lows. But oftentimes, when you first meet a new partner, you feel nothing but fireworks and butterflies. Why? Well, it’s because the early stages of attraction can make us feel relaxed and less critical of our new partner.
Think about it. When you first get together with someone, it’s true that love is blind. The other person has character flaws, but you only see the good in them. You’re leaning so deep into the attraction that you don’t have time to hold them up to your expectations or judgments – you just let your heart run its course. You’d go out of your way to make your partner happy, because seeing them in a positive state fuels your source of love and makes you feel necessary and wanted.
During this phase of the relationship, you’re not thinking about what your partner is giving you versus what you’re offering them – you’re only feeling the sense of strong love and doing whatever it takes to sustain this emotion.
So, why does this period of the relationship end? Even if you’re still wildly attracted to your partner, over time we start to become more critical. That’s because your mind takes over and logic eventually rules out over the heart. You begin to notice the little things they do that annoy you. You overanalyze small disagreements and they morph into large arguments in your mind. You develop expectations, and when your partner doesn’t meet them, you feel hurt and disillusioned.
Over time, these feelings can lead to tension and resentment in the relationship. If this starts to happen, take a moment to yourself. Communicate with your partner. Greet them with honesty, openness and love. Remember why you fell in love with them in the first place. Decide that if this is someone you want to keep in your life, that you need to revert back to those feelings of nonjudgmental love and adoration. This will help you to rekindle the balanced polarity, or attraction, in your relationship.
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Tony Robbins is a #1 New York Times best-selling author, entrepreneur, and philanthropist. For more than 37 years, millions of people have enjoyed the warmth, humor and dynamic presentation of Mr. Robbins’ corporate and personal development events. As the nation’s #1 life and business strategist, he¹s called upon to consult and coach some of the world¹s finest athletes, entertainers, Fortune 500 CEOs, and even presidents of nations.