Do you feel like the spark in your relationship is starting to dwindle? How long have you been with your partner? It doesn’t matter if your answer is 10 months or 10 years – sometimes, we all lose the spark in a relationship.
If you’re committed to your partner and eager to reignite that passion, it’s never too late to do so. The first step in learning how to keep the spark in a relationship is deciding to improve. Recognize that there’s a problem, and then check in to see how your partner’s feeling.
Do they also sense that something has shifted? Are they happy or unhappy in the relationship?
What’s caused tension to form between the two of you? When you talk about these things with your partner, be sure you’re fully communicating. That means being engaged with eye contact, physical gestures and waiting for your partner to finish their thought before you jump in to respond or even defend your actions. Remember that you’re both here because you want this relationship to succeed.
Next, decide to shake things up a little. Be spontaneous with your partner, have adventures together and remember what it was like in the early stages of your relationship. You didn’t hold unfair expectations over one another, and this sense of fun energy helped to keep the spark alive. Tap back into this sense of novelty and excitement, and remember that your partner is looking for fun and happiness, too.
Lastly, you need to make sure your partner feels seen and appreciated. Notice and vocalize the little things you love about them. Go out of your way to pick up their favorite muffin in the morning or write them a quick love note as you head out for work. To reignite the missing spark, you have to live in the now and appreciate all the good things your partner brings to the table. An essential part of this is being able to let go of past mistakes. If you’re working to make this relationship the best it can be, then you can’t be dwelling on old disappointments or disagreements. Agree to let past grievances go, commit to appreciating each other and you’ll have an incredible relationship full of passion.
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Tony Robbins is a #1 New York Times best-selling author, entrepreneur, and philanthropist. For more than 37 years, millions of people have enjoyed the warmth, humor and dynamic presentation of Mr. Robbins’ corporate and personal development events. As the nation’s #1 life and business strategist, he¹s called upon to consult and coach some of the world¹s finest athletes, entertainers, Fortune 500 CEOs, and even presidents of nations.